You have probably found this page because you and a loved one are preparing to make a major commitment to one another. What an amazing, joyous and... stressful time this must be for you both!
As a Couples & Family Therapist I know a lot about how marriages and long-term relationships work and what keeps them strong and fulfilling for many years.
And as a Certified Sex Therapist, I know how to ensure you’re building love, lust and lasting connection from the ground up!
If you, like couples preparing to get married and/or commit their lives to one another, feel as though there are some things that need to be worked out before you say "I do,"
If you are interested in making this investment in your relationship, I offer a 5-Session premarital or commitment package. The package is designed to be applicable to all couples, while providing enough flexibility to address the unique aspects of your relationship.
Together, using evidence-based techniques from Emotion-Focused Therapy and the Gottman Method, we'll build the foundation for a marriage or commitment that feels loving and stable.
After reaching out through my website, my assistant Sarah will let you know when we can get started. If you'd like to do an initial consultation with me first, just let her know and we'll find a time for a free and brief introduction.
If we're all agreed this is a good fit, we'll sign the paperwork, set up the first appointment, and I will provide you both with a copy of my initial 'commitment' assessment. I'll ask you both to send it back to me before our first session.
After we go through the results of your assessments together, our sessions will be geared towards reinforcing areas of strength, and I'll give you new insight and tools to help you address areas of growth.
Interested in getting started?
That's an awesome question and I've given this a great deal of thought. Your first option for premarital counseling is a religious leader if you are getting married in a more traditional ceremony. Your second option is a package offered by coaches, counselors and therapists who do this work.
With a package, you and your partner (most likely) take a test online which results in a score that ranks your partnership based on how harmonious it is. Based on your results there are worksheets and exercises designed to help you get through conversations about money, children, spirituality, etc. together.
Our work will be different.
For starters, many of the other packages I mentioned only talk about sex and desire in your relationship in a very surface level way. I have the training and skills to not only help you both work through more detailed conversations about sex, attraction and desire in your relationship but to ensure it is sustainable and fulfilling for years to come.
Secondly, I know a lot of people do not want nor are they thinking of having a "traditional" marriage. Most premarital counseling is designed for monogamous heterosexual couples and that's only one type of relationship out there! I have the necessary training and experience to help you navigate whatever hopes and dreams you have for your marriage or partnership, especially if you both want something beyond the traditional.
Lastly, only a few premarital programs focus on how bad communication and conflict even start for long-term partners. Evidence-based therapies have found in their research that couples engage in cycles of behavior that have their roots in past experiences, family of origin and childhood; all things that I have spent my career helping relationships address in healthy ways.
I'll help you ensure that you have a handle on what kinds of arguments are likely to happen in your partnership. Not only that, I'll guide you through addressing these issues in a way that strengthens your bond over wearing you down. By exploring these factors in a safe environment, long before the big disagreements happen, you have the opportunity to use conflict in a positive way going forward.
You have a couple of options for payment - you can pay for each session individually or you can pay for the package all at once.
All major credit cards are acceptable forms of payment and all commitment package clients will need to have a card on file for incidentals, like needing to cancel an appointment last minute. If you choose to pay for sessions individually your package price will have an added convenience fee of $1, making each session $220.
Keep in mind that premarital sessions are not mental health sessions and are therefore ineligible for potential reimbursement by your insurance company. If you are interested in trying to use your out-of-network insurance benefits, consider seeing me for couples therapy instead - you can find further information about those services here.
Please feel free to ask further questions about payment in your phone screening with Sarah or in your initial consultation with me.
If you have completed the package curriculum (you live in Oregon or Washington) and still feel you would like to see me, we can talk about your options in our last session together!
If you choose to continue with me, you will be asked to fill out my intake forms for couple's therapy and will be bound by the expectations and regulations I set forth in my Professional Disclosure Statement, Informed Consent and Practice Policies documents. Please consult my services page and my fees page for further information about on-going therapy with me.
For some, the commitment package may already not be the right fit, this is possible for couples with a history of violence, infidelity or high conflict. In such cases, I would be happy to discuss referrals to other providers and additional resources or options with you.
Losing the passion and excitement in a long-term relationship is NOT a foregone conclusion!
Download my guide today to learn about the stages that lead relationships to less sexual and emotional connection and what you can do when the slump starts happening to you.
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